Unsent Letter: 03

You asked me if I'm tired. I asked you what kind of tired. You said, "Of me." I told you no, I'm not. But this is what I didn't tell you:

I am not tired of you. But I am tired of constantly feeling like I can't reach you. I am tired of constantly battling for your attention. I am tired of trying to come up different ways and topics, of convincing you that you can tell me absolutely anything, just so we can have an actual conversation, and not just mindless, pointless ones. Like actually talk to me damn it! Talk to me about your feelings, your emotions, your life! Let me get to know you better.

I am tired of always putting in the effort, of always the one asking, of always the one waiting. I am tired of always the one feeling like I'm never enough. I am tired of always trying to guess what you're feeling, of what is in your mind, because you don't tell me anything unless I ask. And sometimes even when I do, you still avoid giving me an answer.

I am tired of feeling like I am the one who should do everything. I am tired of always the one appreciating. I am tired of being not the priority. I am tired of the mediocrity.

So yes, I am tired. And I am trying so hard to hold on because I don't want to get tired of loving you.