What I really want right now? I want to fast forward the events these recent days and rewind the past. I want to grasp that happy me five or so years ago and I want to hold on to it and never let it go. Back then, my happiness consists of small little things like toys and my parents’ smiles. Now, my happiness consists of concealing myself to the world, locking myself inside my room, read a book or write something, put the earphones in my ears to shut the world up, and ignore my mother’s sad eyes or my father’s unreasonable series of fits. My happiness depends on my friends and even though there are times they disappoint me, or use me or take me for granted, I ignore them because at least they’re not mad and they make me smile. My happiness right now would be to live faraway from my family— which means being totally alone where I could do whatever I want with no one watching me or judging me. 

If only I knew how valuable my happiness was as a child, I would have brought it with me as I was growing up after realizing how the world really is.